TEN THINGS TO AVOID RIGHT NOW!

Just as I gave you ten positive things you can do in the previous two articles to actively combat against the onset of depression, I wanted to likewise give you some things to avoid as you continue to develop your plan.

These things are on the negative side of the ledger as a list of things to avoid, but are designed to compliment or support your systematic rebound from the pits which you now may find yourself in.

1. Avoid the Smart Phone or I-Pad on the Nightstand! 

Leave the phone or I-Pad to charge overnight in any room of the house, or apartment but your bedroom.  No ifs, ands, or but, leave the phone out of your grasp, especially if your prone to check it every time it bleeps, chirps or chimes. 

Remember, the thing that is supposed to be on your nightstand is your journal.

2. Avoid Lounging in Your Pajamas or Sweats! 

Avoid spending the day in your pajamas, sweats and those comfortable old tattered jeans and t-shirt.  Now there is totally nothing wrong with these items and being comfortable when you’re feeling ok, but right now you’re not, and the last thing you need is to be dressed like you feel.  So keep them in the closet for now, or in a laundry basket.  Do not allow them to pile up on the floor, because this not only contributes to the mess on the floor, but the mess in your head.  

3. Avoid Alcohol or Drugs! 

Avoid all alcohol and drugs that make you “feel better.”  It’s temporary at best and the problems are always there when you get back, and sometimes worse because while you were under the influence you said, or did something new and stupid which makes you feel even worse the next time you’re sober.  And no, the solution is not to stay high or drunk because this leads to alcoholism or drug addiction which is an additional set of problems you don’t want to tangle with. 

I know drugs and alcohol are our cultural “go to” when we just want to party and have a good time and forget all of our problems, but just remember, you can do that, but it’s no better than a delicious bowl of ice cream to the ailing diabetic.  It may taste oh so good going down, but the pain on the other side of that little flavor high is going to cost you. 

So if you are serious about not being a helpless victim and beating this depression, then put the liquor or drugs down. 

4. Avoid Depressing or Trigger Music or Movies! 

I’m talking about music that at times may seem familiar and comfortable to you, but the theme or tone is dark and discouraging rather than upbeat and positive.  The same goes for books or movies that enable your feelings of darkness and despair.  Sometimes even positive or upbeat films can make you feel lousy because they leave you fantasizing about the life you don’t have.  So be careful on either side of this one. 

You really have to pay attention to your moods and thoughts.  Even though entertainment can give us a momentary high, binge watching 8 episodes of something make believe on Netflix doesn’t fix your problem.   And though it may have been fun while it lasted and make for great break time discussion at work, ultimately did it add any value to your life.  In this regard, entertainment can have much the same effect on us as drugs or alcohol minus the hangover. 

5. Avoid Binge Eating and Junk Food!

This also has a whiplash effect as it feels good going down, but greatly contributes to the misery on the far side.  Seeking comfort in short term pleasure rarely results in long term joy, especially if you have difficulty controlling your weight.  The right food can be very beneficial to your overall mental health, but it’s rarely the food consumed in a fit of depression. 

Foods high in sugar content are nearly guaranteed to make you feel worse after the initial wonderful taste and euphoric high wear off.  We’ll talk in more detail about the importance of good nutrition in another post.

6. Avoid Disturbing News and Images!

Listening to the news and taking in too much talk radio or podcasts can really cause the anxiety to spike as you ponder all of the evil out there and the ways our world really could end.    Sure it’s good to stay informed, but you must pay attention to and learn to understand your threshold.

This is particularly important before bed.  One of the things that I have learned in my own life is to try and not allow any morbid or disturbing news or images into my brain as the last thing I see before I go to bed.  I get the fact that in today’s media drive world sometime things just catch our attention right before bed on the news or flipping through the phone, but it is definitely worth the while to spend some focused energy on avoiding these types of things perhaps an hour before your bed time in the evening. 

If you think about it, those HD Televisions and smart phones have been on the scene for a relatively short period of time in the course of human history.   In that short period, we have rapidly come to understand the powerful influence of advertising and media and yet the majority of us are still not convinced of the potential negative influence of news, violent entertainment and violent gaming.

And while there are studies out there which show a connection, you can understandably see where the multi-billion dollar news and media industry would be reluctant to agree, or to further investigate or promote these results.  However, this does not prevent us as consumers to engage in our own scientific method driven studies. 

Spend some focused time away from the tube and the smart phone and see what happens.  Have your journal ready to record the results.  I can guarantee two things.  Number 1 – it won’t be easy, and number 2 – the results will surprise you. 

7. Avoid Idle Time Wallowing in Self Pity!

If you have any level of self-awareness, you should be able to recognize yourself doing this, or going down this path, avoid it like the plague.  Get up, do something, go help somebody or serve at the soup kitchen.  This will both lift your spirits and keep you from beating yourself up.  It’s like the pilot who realizes his plane is in a tail spin plummeting toward the earth, if you can’t pull out of it…, eject!    Go wash the laundry piling up on your bedroom floor or something otherwise productive.

8. Avoid Web Surfing or Excessive Game Play!

I know this last one is going to kill some of you, but wasting an unbalanced amount of time on non-productive pursuits like playing video games or solitaire on your computer for hours on end.  You’re going to have to be the judge on this one as you constantly ask yourself what is to be gained from this activity or am I just wasting time to avoid something else.  It just gives you one more thing to beat yourself up about when you’re done because of all the time you just wasted. 

The internet can be a great resource for a lot of really good stuff, but it can also be a colossal time waster if your internet time is just surfing and not focused.  And as far as video games are concerned, jokingly I always tell my son when he shouts across the room, “Wow, I just got top score,” or “I just beat that level,” “That’s great son, that’s gonna look really great on your resume.” 

9. Avoid Social Media!

Why?  Because everybody else seems to be doing great out there except you.  This contributes to your feeling isolated and alone as stated.  And though everybody else seems to be doing great, (not really, but appears to be) social media continues to be high on most researchers anxiety and depression causing list, so unplug for awhile and leave it alone. 

10. Avoid Isolating Yourself from Friends or Family!

Resist the temptation to isolate yourself from friends, family or from the world for that matter unless these relationships are toxic, destructive and contributing to your depression.  Go and do, force yourself, even if you initially don’t want to.  And even if you don’t know many people or have many friends, go volunteer somewhere.  This is a great way to meet others who also care about the world and you may actually help someone in the process, which in itself will make you feel better.

Again, I understand how difficult these things may be, particularly when you are in the dark icy clutches of depression and anxiety, but do them you should.  Remember this is just phase one of your action plan, but it’s a start. 

You may have noticed that I did not mention seeking out a counselor or seeing your doctor, but this was purposeful in an effort to just get you moving again.  I would compare it to the athlete who hasn’t worked out in awhile and must stretch before getting into any kind of more intense workout. 

Additionally, there is also the real possibility that you may not actually need counseling or medical attention.  Perhaps you’ve gotten into a rut and the very activities that you have been over indulging in are causing your increased depression or anxiety.  Sometimes all we need is a little course correction and balance.  Fully implementing some of the above strategies, particularly journaling your thoughts and ideas as well as eating the right foods and this may help you pull out of it. 

We cannot assume that everyone who gets depressed for a short time will eventually want to commit suicide.  Depression can be a normal indicator of a life out of balance or heading in the wrong direction.  In many circumstances, refocusing or rebalancing our lives can in itself be the cure.  However, we can never truly know this unless we are spending some focused time and energy positively reflecting on our lives and choices.