Okay, so here we are in 2018.  A new year, and hopefully a new attitude toward finally getting beyond this drag on your heart, mind and soul called depression.  While I’m not yet ready to tell you my own story about my struggle with depression, I will tell you from personal experience what has and does work in minimizing it’s affect on your life.   The following list of ideas is my opinion or my “go to” list of things to try and avoid when I start to feel that downward spiral.

It’s been about 25 years now since my first crushing encounter with depression and anxiety which lasted approximately eighteen months, and I’m happy to report most of those years since have been good ones.  For the most part there has been nothing major until last year when it again reared it’s ugly head for about two months.

While my reaction to this last bout was more spiritual in nature, (a reaction which I believe get’s to the root causes of depression, and which I will discuss in more detail later) the list of things not to do below is geared toward both believers and non-believers alike.  So here we go:

1. Avoid sleeping-in, lying in bed all day or waiting for your bed to finally get so uncomfortable that you couldn’t possibly stay in it one more second. There is a fine line between getting enough sleep and oversleeping.  There is also a fine line between allowing yourself time to think and overthinking.  When you lie in bed too long you endanger yourself to both oversleeping and overthinking.  Both of which are bad because the more you sleep, the more you think that you should be up doing something productive until eventually your thoughts turn negative and you start to convince yourself that you are just a slug and worthless, which in turn leads you further down the path of depression and increased anxiety.
2. Don’t lounging in your pajamas, nightgown or sweats all day long or wear those comfortable old faded, torn or dirty clothes that make you look like you feel. Now granted, there is nothing wrong with these items in the appropriate setting and when you actually do want to be comfortable as a part of normal life, but right now you feel rotten and these only contribute to furthering that perception of yourself.  So keep them in the closet for now, or in a laundry basket.  Do not allow them to pile up on the floor, because this not only contributes to the mess on the floor, but the mess in your head.
3. Stay away fromalcohol, drugs or any other mood altering devices that “make you feel better.” It’s temporary at best and the problems are always there when you get back, and sometimes worse because while you were under the influence you said or did something stupid which will make you feel even worse when you’re sober.
4. Avoid music that drives you deeper into despair. You know the music I’m talking about, this is the music that is familiar and comfortable for you, maybe reminds you of a failed relationship, or the theme or tone is dark and discouraging rather than upbeat and positive.  Even if sometimes the music might be packaged as a supposedly a feel good holiday song.  The one that always drives me over the edge is, “So This is Christmas, (Happy Xmas), originally by John Lennon, the tone of it is flat out depressing for me, so I always hit the next button anytime I hear it playing.
5. Give up watching the news for a time, listening to talk radio, watching movies or reading books that enable your feelings of darkness or despair to sink lower or cause your anxiety to spike higher. They may at other times even be some of your favorite activities, but look at the content, storyline and mood of them and evaluate whether or not this is the best way for you to spend your time right now.  Sometimes even positive or upbeat films can make you feel lousy because they leave you fantasizing about the life you don’t have, or the world you don’t live in.  So be careful on either side of this one.  And listening to the news and taking in too much talk radio can really cause the anxiety to spike as you ponder all of the ways our world is really going to end.
6. Avoid too much idle time wallowing in self pity – if you feel yourself doing this, or going down this path, avoid it like the plague. Get up, do something, go help somebody or serve at the soup kitchen.  This will both lift your spirits and keep you from beating yourself up.  Instead of trolling for hours on other peoples facebook pages whom you are convinced are living happier, healthier lives than you, go help somebody whom you know is worse off than you.  It will make you appreciate your own life more.
7. Avoid binge eating or consuming large quantities of junk food. This also has a whiplash affect as it feels good going down, but greatly contributes to your misery on the far side.  Seeking comfort in short term pleasure food rarely results in long-term joy, especially if you have a metabolism that immediately turns it into fat.  Then not only do you feel lousy, but you start to look that way too.
8. Don’t isolating yourself from friends, family or from the world for that matter unless these relationships are toxic, destructive and contributing to your depression. Go and do, even if you initially don’t want to.  And even if you don’t know many people or have many friends, go volunteer somewhere.  This is a great way to meet others who also care about the world and you may actually help someone in the process, which in itself will make you feel better.
9. Skip social media – because everybody seems to be doing great out there except you. This contributes to your feeling isolated and alone as stated.  Everybody else seems to be doing great, (not really, but appears to be).  Social media continues to be high on the anxiety and depression causing list, so unplug for awhile and leave it alone.
10. I know this last one is going to kill some of you, but wasting an unbalanced amount of time on non-productive pursuits like playing video games or solitaire on your computer for hours on end. You’re going to have to be the judge on this one as you constantly ask yourself what is to be gained from this activity or am I just wasting time to avoid something else.   Jokingly I always tell my son when he shouts across the room, “Wow, I just got top score,” or “I just beat that level,” “That’s great son, that’s gonna look great on your resume.”   Balance is the key here.

My next list will be more focused on things to do rather than things to avoid.

Have a safe and Happy New Year!  Fight the good fight!